


We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

by LarrysPencil



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Death, Doctor/Patient, Friends to Lovers, Hospital, M/M, Mental Institutions, Self Harm, don't look at the next tag its a spoiler alert, double personality, idk you have to read it to know, larry - Freeform, sorta - Freeform, well involintary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 19:32:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarrysPencil/pseuds/LarrysPencil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis works at a mental institute and Harry is a patient there but he really shouldn't be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much a mess.
> 
> I also would like to thank the lovely Victoria for being the beta of my dreams. And this is thinly, thinly, thinly based off of [Psychotic.](http://www.wattpad.com/story/6305314-psychotic-a-harry-styles-fanfiction)
> 
> Title from the movie Psycho.

Louis dragged himself through the corridor as he took another sip of his tea. For some reason, no matter how hard he tried he could not wake himself up this morning. He was trying to cut down on caffeination, but that was not going well so far. Who could blame him, though? It was 7am. 

He pushed through the cafeteria doors and scanned the room to find that the only other person in it was Niall. “Hey, Lou!” He called from across the room, making his way towards Louis.

“Morning, Niall.” He said unenthused. He’s been working here for a month and he has yet to come in to a gloomy Niall. 

“Lou said we have three new patients that came in last night!” He said as he reached Louis.

Louis nodded, “Hopefully they aren’t too much trouble.” He said with no emotion. He would apologize to Niall later for his lack of caffeinated tea. 

The red light blinked a few times letting them know that the cells of the B C and D wards were opening and patients would soon arrive. The ward A patients had to eat lunch in a separate room. Niall told Louis that they were monsters, but he shouldn’t worry about them. Apparently, he would never hear as much as a breath from any one of them. 

The doors ripped open and Louis jumped and turned around because, well, usually nobody got to the cafeteria for another five minutes.

He watched as a tall, slim boy strutted to the food line. He was clearly toned, you could tell even through the baggy outfit they supplied the patients with. His hair was dark and curly, and he had his sleeves rolled up revealing several tattoos. Louis had never seen a patient that was easy to look at let alone gorgeous like this boy was. 

“Well I’m assuming he’s new.” Niall nudged an elbow into Louis’ side and Louis just nodded slowly. He was awake now, definitely awake now.

-

“Hi” Louis gasped and spun around to be faced with one of the three new patients, the hot one. 

“Oh, hello.” He said trying to remain calm, “You need help with anything?”

“No.” He said smirking. He held his gaze strongly on Louis causing him to shift uncomfortably. “I’m Harry. I really want to play cards.”

Louis gave him a confused look, “Um.. Okay, did you ask around to see if anyone wanted to play with you?”

“I’m doing that now.”

Louis’ breath hitched, “Well, I uh… I’m not really sure if I’m supposed to do that-“

“I couldn’t get a word out of half of these psychos if I tried.” Harry stated, shrugging, “I’m just bored. Please.”

Louis looked over to Niall who was dumbfounded watching the two. Louis widened his eyes at Louis before he nodded at Harry, “Alright.”

Harry smiled and sat at a nearby table with a deck of cards that he must have gotten from the game table. “What do you like?”

“I’ll play anything.” Louis said and Harry nodded.

“Okay how’s rummy sound?” 

“Sure.” Louis agreed, picking up cards that Harry dealt out to him.

They played in silence for a little bit until Harry cleared his throat, “So uh, what’s your name?”

Louis slowly looked up from his hand, “Louis.” He said hesitantly.

“You don’t need to be afraid of me, ya know. I won’t hurt you.” He said playing a card.

Louis kept his head down but lifted his eyes to study the patients face. “Why are you in here?” 

Harry took in a deep breath. Louis wasn’t one to be so direct with people except he really was. “Well, sometimes when people get me really mad, my… emotions, they get the better half of me.”

Louis gave him a confused look, “So… What did you do?”

Harry played a few cards and studied his hand for a minute, “Gin.” He said throwing his cards down, disregarding Louis’ question.

-

The next day five minutes into lunch Harry came to Louis with a deck of cards and hopeful eyes. Louis of course agreed to Harry’s plea and they sat as the same table as the day before.

“Louis?”

Louis looked up from his hand and Harry was biting his lip.

“Um. Well first, I just wanted to tell you that I like your eyes. Their very pretty and blue.” He said quietly and they both blushed. “And the second thing. Well, do you think you can bring something in for me?”

He looked so hopeful and Louis couldn’t help but nod, “Yeah, what is it?”

“Um. I just really… I really want some snickers.”

Louis looked at him for a minute before they both burst out into a laughing fit. “Of course I can bring you snickers.” He said giggling.

“Thank you. They’re my favorite candy and it’s been years since I’ve even seen one.” Harry said and Louis realized just how much he really is deprived of. Plus, the food they serve here is nothing he would want to be eating. Harry’s request was very small on a scale of what he could be asking of him.

The pair played in silence for a while until the lights blinked and it was time for Harry to leave. “See you tomorrow with snickers.” 

Harry’s face lit up like nothing Louis had ever seen before and he figured he should probably stock up on snickers for this boy.

The next morning Louis went right to his and Harry’s table (it’s official now) straight after greeting Niall.

Less than a minute later Harry came practically running over to the table with a wide smile on his face. He slides in his chair and almost falls off the far side but his hold on the table saves him.

He sits up straight and folds his arms staring brightly at Louis. “What?” Louis says playfully.

“Do you have it?” 

“Hmmm… Have what?” Louis plays.

“You knowwwwww!” He says matter-of-factly.

“No I don’t! What are you talking about?”

“Louuuuuu, The snickers!” 

“Oh shit!” Louis opens his mouth, “I forgot!”

Harry’s smile faints briefly before Louis smirks and Harry blurts, “No you didn’t!”

Louis reached in his hoodie pocket and pulled out a king sized snicker before sliding it across the table to Harry. 

“Oh my God thank you so fucking much.” Harry says frantically opening the wrapper and biting into the candy. He looks like someone in a commercial the way he dramatically chews the chocolate and hums in enjoyment. “So good. Want some?” He offers and Louis shakes his head.

“Good. It took an entire five minutes and I had to walk all the way from my car to the gas station and pay a whole two dollars for that. You should be thankful.”

“Oh I am. So thankful. Thank you.” He says finishing the snickers.

Louis laughs at how fast he ate it and rests his chin in his hands. He looks behind Harry and sees a patient staring at him with squinted eyes. That’s when he looks around and notices the majority of the people in the room’s eyes were directed at him and Harry. Harry was looking around too and when they looked back at each other their eyes were wide. “Um…” Harry said quietly.

Louis turned around to Niall who was also looking at all of the glaring eyes. He met eyes with Louis and came rushing over, “Um. Snickers.”

Louis’ jaw dropped and he covered his mouth and looked back at harry. He did not expect that to be the reaction. “Oops.”

-

It had become a daily thing. Every day for two weeks now, Louis has been playing cards (more or less) at lunch with Harry. Louis knows it’s a bad idea for two reasons. The first being that he is an employee and Harry is a patient, the other being that the more time he spends with the boy, the fonder he grows of him.

He’s learned that Harry is 22 and has spent a year in jail. He grew up in Homes Chapel and wants nothing more to return there to his mother and sister. He never told Louis what he went to jail for, he claims he doesn’t remember. In the beginning, Louis was hesitant to believe anything the boy said, but he is slowly beginning to trust his words.

Louis was sitting in their usual spot waiting for Harry when Harry came over to him and glanced down at him. “Well, hello there, Princess.” His eyes were a darker shade of emerald and his eyebrows were furrowed.

Louis made a face at the nickname and crossed his arms, “W-”

“Cards? I don’t like cards, how about we play a different game. Something a little bit more… Entertaining?” He smirked and Louis raised an eyebrow.

“Harry what are you-”

“Huh, You really are a pretty one, aren’t you. Louis, right?” Harry cut him off again.

“Harry you’ve known my name for weeks now. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but cut it out.” He said sternly. 

“What’s on the menu today?” Harry asked randomly.

“Well, Chicken but it-”

“I think I’ll-”

“Would you stop cutting me off? God damn it, Harry! Why are you being like this?” Louis stood up and smacked his hands on the table. 

Harry looked up at him for a moment and blinked a few times. “Uh, sorry. Sorry, um. I’m just gonna go, yeah.”

Louis watched as Harry scattered out of the cafeteria leaving him confused and irritated. Once again they put on a show and became the center of attention.

-

A couple of weeks after that day, Louis was sitting in Lou’s office discussing the incoming patients. Lou was the person who kept track of the patients, making sure everything was in order. She was also Louis’ favorite person to work with, besides Niall of course. 

“Yeah I don’t know he really doesn’t talk to me.” Lou said talking about Harry.

Louis shrugged, “He doesn’t stop talking to me.” 

Lou looked at him for a minute and opened her mouth a few times. She finally said, “The other day Josh said something about the two of you.” Josh was one of the night shift medical assistants. 

“What did he say?” 

“He just said how you always sit with him and it was weird.”

Louis made a confused look, “Wait he doesn’t even ever see me he works nights?”

Lou shrugged, “Yeah I don’t know I guess someone told him.”

Suddenly a large clap of thunder roars above them and the lights flickered a few times before shutting off.

“Shit.” Lou whispered under her breath. Louis looked at her with confusion before he remembered a small detail; all of the room doors were automatic, giving every patient in the hospital the opportunity to leave their rooms.

“I- Um, I’ll go make sure nothing bad happens, maybe I’ll help the guards manually lock the doors.” Louis said in a slight panic.

“No, Louis I really don’t-”

“It’s fine, it’s. My job, I’ll be fine. I have the sedatives on me, if anything happens.” Louis assured her. She nodded and he made his way out the door and down the hall.

He turned the flash light from his phone on and cautiously turned the corner. Eventually the generator must have kicked on because dim lights turned on along the walls. He made his way towards the B wards when he saw a patient at the end of the hall, “Hi there, I think we should be getting you back to your room, no?”

Louis said, trying his best to sound assertive and not scared. The man shook his head and walked towards Louis. He grabbed his hips and pushed him against the wall. Louis whined at the hit and squirmed under his grip. The man ripped the sedatives out of his hand and rolled the needle behind them.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to get my hands on you.” The man grinned, “Ever since your perky little ass waltzed through that door a couple months ago.” He whispered in Louis’ ear as he squeezed Louis’ bum. 

Louis actually whined and he felt his eyes sting. It all happened so fast and the man abruptly smacked their lips together and stuck his tongue down Louis’ throat. Louis made noises and squirmed under the man, definitely crying now. The larger patient was moving his hands around Louis’ body and he wanted to throw up. Suddenly the man was gone and Louis gasped for air. 

His eyes darted around for the man and he found him on the ground with a certain angry patient thrashing on top of him. “Harry! Harry, Harry Stop!” He yelled rushing towards them then quickly backing away. “Harry, listen to me. Harry.” He said more calmly. Eventually Harry stopped throwing punches and stood up slowly, his head to the ground and his fists clenched. Louis looked to the man on the floor and he was unconscious and well. Injured.

Louis put his hands on Harry’s arms that were by his side, and he ran them down and unclenched his fists. “Harry, look at me.”

Harry stood still with his head locked on the ground, still breathing heavily. Louis put his hand on Harry’s chin and lifted his head. “Thank y- Oh my God, Harry what-”

He stopped talking and stood on his toes to get a better look at Harry’s eyes. Both eyes had blood coming out of the inner corners like tears would. Louis opened his mouth but shut it again. 

“Don’t be scared.” Harry said in a deeper voice than normal.

Louis shook his head then pulled Harry into a tight hug. “Thank you.”

“Well, well, well. What do we have h- Louis?” Niall was coming down the hall with sedatives ready in his hand. 

“Niall, thank God.” Louis pulled away from Harry who immediately stalked off. 

“H- Where is he going?” Niall said in a panic, starting to follow after him. Louis grabbed his arm.

“To his room probably. He’s fine. He… saved me?” It sounded a bit cheesy but that is what happened.

Niall shook his head, “What are you talking about?” He glanced down at the motionless body and nodded, “What did he do.”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows and explained the whole situation to Niall. He told him that Harry meant no harm and he really didn’t want him in trouble for this. “O… Kay. Well, how am I supposed to explain this to the infirmary?” He motioned towards the man, “If I don’t have a solid story they’ll question it and look at the cameras.”

“Shit. The cameras.” Louis said, scratching his forehead. “Well.. Um. We could just. Tell the truth?”

Niall snorted. “He’ll get a week in solitary or a rough beating at the least. Because ‘That’s now how we deal with our problems, is it?’” He said using air quotes. 

Louis winced at his words that he knew were true. “So their logic is to punish a patient who stopped an employee from getting raped. Complete sense that makes.” He said rolling his eyes. 

“Well, I’ll get him to the infirmary and say nothing. If they look at the cameras, then they do, and we hope for the best. Alright?” Louis nodded and thanked Niall. 

After Niall called help Louis left him with a pat on the shoulder and went to the cafeteria. He decided he had nothing more important to do other than bring a tray of food up to Harry. He quickly grabbed it and timidly walked to his cell.

The doors were working again and the power went on. He hadn’t heard of any massive corruption besides his own and that he was grateful for. He made his way to the end of the hall and frowned as he realized that Harry was in the shit cells. He was in the oldest, dirtiest, most damaged area and Louis felt like it was unfair that he was in here. 

He looked into Harry’s room and he was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor. He slowly opened the door and set the tray on the table. “Harry?” 

Harry looked up and he looked like he was in extreme pain. His eyebrows were together forming a wrinkle in his forehead, his lips were curved down and his eyes were stressed. 

“Are you ok?” Louis asked quietly.

“What happened.” He said, making it sound like a statement.

“What do you mean?” Louis tilted his head.

“I mean, what /happened/? In the last whatever many hours?” Harry widened his eyes. “Did I hurt you?” 

“No! Wait.. You don’t remember?” Louis questioned, confused.

“Louis. Have I ever told you why I was in here?” He asked biting his lip.

“No. You don-”

“Louis, just listen to me, but first. You have to trust me when I say you have nothing to be afraid of, okay?” 

He nodded his head slowly and waited for Harry to continue.

“Well I have this thing, this… Disorder. Dissociative identity disorder. But. My case is really… Rare?” He was stumbling on his words and Louis just nodded for him to go on. “Well. It’s like. I’m me, I’m normal, but /it’s/ not. It’s scary and. Sometimes I can’t keep it’s away. Sometimes he’s just there. But usually it only happens when I’m mad. Or scared like- really /really/ scared. And. I don’t like it. I hate it. It’s like all the bad things about me times 100, all in one. I don’t even get it, why is it there? I don’t want it to be. And the blood. The blood I don’t know where it comes from, but I “wake up” with blood stains like tears on my face every time. I’m sorry you ever have to witness it… him.” 

Louis stares at him and he feels sorry for him. That’s not fair, it’s not fair that Harry’s in here because of it. “Harry…”

“Wait, let me finish. Sorry. Well it’s like. When it happens, I never can control it. I’ve never ever been able to make it stop before it was to the point where someone knocked me unconscious or I fell asleep. But. That one day in lunch? I “woke up” or “Came back” or whatever, in the middle of lunch, and you were there. Then earlier, I woke up and your hands were on my arms. Like. What do you say to me- or.. him? Did you do anything?” 

Louis is dumbfounded. “Uhmm..” He mutters, “Well, earlier I said ‘Harry, calm down.’ or something? I just tried to settle you down.”

Harry’s eyes dart back and forth and he’s biting his lip. He looked at Louis with a look of distress, “I- don’t get it?” 

Louis squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead, “Me either, but. Ok. Thank you for telling me all of this. And. I get if you don’t want to but, what did you do? To get in here. Like the specific incident.”

Harry’s eyes shot to the floor and he sat still for a moment. “I don’t remember doing it.” After a couple minutes he said barely in a whisper, “Don’t be scared of me please.” 

Louis looked at him sincerely, “Harry, I’m not, nor will I ever be, scared of you. Ok?” 

“Um.” He took a deep breath like he was preparing to talk in front of the whole world, “Ok, I- well. When I was sixteen, I came down the stairs and I saw my dad hit my mum. That’s all I remember. That’s it- I promise you after this, none of it was me.” He looked at Louis now and Louis just nodded his head. “Well, I guess I- he, he hit my father until he was unconscious and my mum called the police and when the police tried to calm him down I… He… hit them too. I almost killed my father. He was in bad shape for such a long time and all I can remember is waking up in a jail cell. I can’t lie to you and say I wouldn’t have tried to hurt my father if I was conscious of my actions, but trying to kill him and a police? That’s not something that I would do.” Harry had a look of pain etched across his face, “They know it wasn’t me. My family. My mum and sister. But they’re too afraid that the other side of me is going to come out at any moment to even come and visit me. They’re fucking afraid of me, Louis. /Me./ It’s not fair. I hate him. I hate him so much, I hate him, I fucking hate th-”

Louis cut him off by pulling him into a swift hug and shushing him. They hugged in silence for a bit before Louis pulled away and put his hands on Harry’s shoulders. “I’m not afraid. I like you. I like you enough to accept who you are, ok? Even if you hate him so much, it’s something I’m afraid is going to be a part of you forever.” Harry winced and shook his head.

“Thank you, Lou. And. I like you too. You treat me like a person, which nobody’s done in a long time.”

Louis smiled and pulled him in for another hug. “I have to leave soon, I’ll see you tomorrow yeh?” 

Harry nodded and smiled. Louis stood up and before shutting the door turned to Harry and waved to him again.

As Louis drove home he came to the conclusion that he was completely and utterly fucked.

-

The next Monday Louis got to work 21 minutes late. He blamed it on Harry because thoughts of the green eyed boy kept him up until hours he wished to never see. He rushed through the corridor after clocking in and pushed through the doors of the cafeteria to find Harry holding up a smaller patient by his collar and screaming something very loudly in his face. He ran as fast as he could to him because he wanted to get there before Niall and the sedatives did. 

He came to an abrupt stop right next to Harry and put his hand lightly on Harry’s balled up fist that was getting ready to hit the guy. “Harry, babe. Harry. Calm down, listen to me. It’s Louis. Look at me, Harry.” He said cautiously. 

Harry- or whoever this was- pushed Louis away and went to punch the patient- Zayn, Louis thinks his name is.

Louis saw Niall rush over out of the corner of his eye with a needle in hand. “Niall no! Hold on- Harry! Harry, Harry. Stop!” Louis yelled at him as he jumped in front of Zayn, detaching Harry’s hand from Zayn’s collar. Harry’s arm halted and he looked at Louis harshly. His eyes were bleeding again and Louis grabbed his face. “Shhhh. Harry, listen to my voice. It’s me, you don’t want to hurt me. Settle down, Darling. Breath.” Louis mocked steady breathing for a moment and Harry’s eyes shut. 

Louis took a deep breath and turned to grab a napkin from the table behind him. He slowly wiped away the blood from Harry’s face and bundled the cloth in his hand. “You’re okay, you didn’t hurt anyone, I promise.” Harry slowly nodded and let out a sharp breath. “Breakfast is almost over and you haven’t eaten, would you like me to bring you up a meal after in a bit? You should head back to your room, love.” Louis said as soothing as possible. Harry opened his eyes and nodded a little, then turned on his heels and followed the rest of his patients back to the rooms.

“What the fuck was that?” Niall came over to Louis a minute later.

“Niall, you have a lot to catch up on. As in, he has a double personality. But that other thing? It’s not him. It’s the opposite of Harry. And we also figured out that my voice? It like /tames/ the other person. Like. When he hears me talk it goes away, he comes back.” 

Niall looked back at him like he had three heads. “Yeah. I’m just as weirded out about it as you are. And Niall?” Louis looked down. He opened his mouth then shut it again. “He doesn’t belong here. I need to get him out.”

“You fucking like him!” Niall said almost a little too loudly.

“No-well- shut up. Okay I’m very fond of him. But that isn’t allowed here. That’s one of the reasons why he needs out. But Niall, seriously if the boss finds out I’m fucked so please, don’t-”

“I got you, Mate. It’s fine. The lads nice looking. I understand. Just, don’t do anything stupid. Or don’t get caught at least.”

Louis shot him a smile, “Thank you.”

Niall nodded, “Well, I’m off to Lou’s office, got check-ups in a half.”

Louis shot him a smile then trotted over to grab a tray of pancakes for Harry.

He walked out the door and traveled on the familiar route to Harry’s room. As he made his way down the long hall some patients yelled for him to get them out, some said very, very nasty things and one even cat whistled. He felt himself become sick at the fact that Harry is considered no better than any of these people who are doing these things. 

He opened Harry’s door to find that he was sprawled across the bed with his hands in his hair and a worried look across his face, but he looked asleep. Louis sighed and set the tray down next on the side table and rubbed Harry’s arm, “Harry?” 

Harry didn’t respond which made Louis decide he was asleep. He leant down and placed a gentle kiss to his forehead and pulled away wondering if he probably should not have done that.

-

“Fuck! This stupid fucking coffee mug, can’t they make the cover stay on better? Or the coffee cooler? Or something, Jesus this hurts.” Louis was pulling his shirt away from his skin to keep the drink from burning his skin any further. 

Niall stared at him in disbelief, “Dude. You were taking the coffee cap off for-”

“That’s besides the point. It’s still they’re fault.” Louis sighed in annoyance, “Napkins. I need napkins. And a new shirt. Everything hates me.” He said before pulling his shirt off and throwing wiping down his whole upper body. “Ow.”

“Uh. I have a shirt. You can wear.” Niall said hesitantly. Him and his wide eyes turned around and grabbed a shirt out of his cubby and threw it at Louis. 

“Thank you. Sorry. Thanks.” Louis said pulling the shirt on over him. 

“Ye-” 

“Louis? Louis! Louis thank God! Louis come here please, please you need to come, Louis!” Lou was hysterical and out of breath like she had just ran here.

“Woah, woah what’s going on?” Louis said putting his hands out to say calm the fuck down.

“Just- Come!” She ran back out the room and Louis looked to Niall confused who just followed.

They ran down a few halls and Louis mindlessly followed until they ended up going towards Harry’s hall. He internally panicked and as they turned the corner he saw three or four guards holding Harry down with multiple sedative needles stuck in his arms. “No!” He automatically yelled and ran towards him.

“I- he was out of control that’s why I came and-” Lou started but Niall cut her off telling her he understands.

Louis tried to get to Harry who was now passed out but the guards kept him away. He fought and pushed until he finally gave up and crossed his arms. They had already pulled the needles out of Harry and one was picking him up carrying him into his room.

Louis followed but they wouldn’t let him in. “Okay seriously?”

“Look, you have no business being here right now this is our job. Besides, he’s a dangerous patient. I recommend staying away from him.” 

Louis looked up at the guard with a furrowed eyebrow and blew a piece of hair out of his eye. That’s annoying.

He turned around and walked towards Niall who took him into a hug. “What the hell.” Louis said directing it towards multiple issues.

“I know. I know.” Niall said rubbing his back. 

Thank God for Niall.

-  
Months go by. Months go by of Harry and Louis sitting with each other at lunch, aimlessly talking about utter rubbish. Months go by of Harry’s other person causing trouble and Louis coming and getting Harry back. All this time goes by and people start to notice. Staff members start to see how Louis looks at Harry. They start to realized that Louis is the only thing that can completely tame Harry (minus sedatives, but those are a negative alternative.) They start to talk about how Louis calls Harry babe and darling. Niall starts to notice that Louis is totally gone for him. One day, Niall says something about it.

They were standing in his kitchen as ramen noodles were cooking on the stove. “Look, Lou. I love you man, but. It’s like. He’s a good lad, I know that, you know that. But he’s a patient here. There’s not much you can really do about that. They can’t just let him go, he has a sentence.”

Louis’ eyes sting. “I hate judges, I hate doctors, I hate his Dad. This is not how he’s supposed to live. This isn’t fair, Niall! I don’t even know what I can do about it. They treat patients like shit here and- and he shouldn’t even be here. How do I get him out?”

“Lou…” Niall says with too much worry in his eyes. “I really don’t think that can happen.”

“It can. It can happen! It has to happen.” Louis was crying now. Niall walked over to him and took him into a hug. Why was everything stupid? And why was everyone taller than him? He’s so small. God hates him. What the hell.

“Fuck” Niall pulled away a little and looked down at him.

“Yes?” 

“I’m so gone for him, Niall.” Louis says through an involuntary sob.

“I know, it’s gonna be ok. It’ll all be fine.”

They stayed like that until Louis realized his noodles were boiling over and there’s that.

The next morning he woke up on the couch to the sounds of Niall snoring besides him. His heart sunk at the thought that that may not ever be Harry. But then he slapped himself because if he thinks that way then it will never be Harry. His phone was lighting up and when he looked at it is said it was only 3 am. Awesome. 

He laid his head back down and shut his eyes. He was jerked back awake when his phone buzzed in his pocket over and over. He grabbed it and answered it before the call was over. “Hello?” 

“Um, hi.”

Louis gasped and covered his mouth, “Harry?”

“Lou.” Harry said innocently.

“Hi, Darling.”

“Lou.” He said through tears now.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” Louis asked frantically.

“I- I don’t know. Are you busy?” He said quietly, his voice shaky.

“No, no.” He was only sleeping, he thinks, but it’s okay. “What’s going on?” 

“I. I need you.” 

“Okay, okay. Um. I’ll come in. I’m leaving now, I promise. Just. Sit tight, you’re okay.” Louis tried to calm him down. He could hear his shaky tears through the line and he was going to burst. 

He ran to his car and sent a quick text to Niall before he left for the ward. He may or may not have broken every possible trafficking law known to man. “Can you please stay on the phone?”

“Absolutely. Babe, how are you talking to me?” The worried boy questioned softly.

“John. He was on a night shift just outside my room and I rung the thing for water and asked him if I could call you and when he saw why he let me.”

“Darling, what happened?” 

Harry’s breathing was shaky and he studdered, “I honestly don’t- I. It was /him/.”

Louis sighed and assured Harry he was almost there. They didn’t speak much between then and when Louis arrived at the institute but he knew just the sound of his breathing was assuring to Harry.

Once he got there he scanned his ID in and ran as fast as he could towards Harry’s ward. A guard tried to stop him on the way and Louis gave him a very evil look and a scolding because. Well. Everyone knew he was the only one who could help Harry and if that wasn’t okay that wasn’t his problem right now. 

“I’m going to hang up now, Harry. I’m here. Okay?”

Harry agreed and Louis made his way through the dark halls. He pushed Harry’s door open and his heart sank when he saw Harry looking completely helpless and silently crying on the bed. He was holding his right arm with his left and there were three cuts lined up going all the way down his forearm and they were bleeding pretty badly. It looked like a fork mark down his arm.

“Babe, Oh my God.” Louis said rushing over to him and holding his arm. “What the hell happened?” He looked up to Harry from where he was knelt down next to his bed.

“I don’t remember.” He said again, following a sob. 

“Oh, Baby.” He said rubbing Harry’s leg. “Okay, okay. I’m going to get you something from Lou’s office. She’s not here right now so I’ll do the best I can, okay?” 

Harry nodded and sniffed and then Louis was running to the nurse’s office. Literally running. He grabbed about four rolls of gauze and three packages of bandages and a couple rolls of tape and even a tongue depressor because why the hell not Harry was hurt.

He got back to Harry as fast as he could and cleaned his arm up winced just as much as Harry when it stung too much. Once Harry was all wrapped up and they’re sitting on Harry’s little bed Louis kissed his arm.

“I don’t get it. I’m scared. Did he try to kill me, Lou?” 

“I really don’t know, Kitten.” Harry’s face lit up at the newfound nickname, “But I promise I will do my best to protect you, Okay?”

Louis smiled and Harry bit his lip looking down. “Lou?”

“Yes, Darling?” 

“Um. Can I kiss you?” Harry doesn’t look up and he says it almost too quietly for Louis to hear.

Louis bites his tongue. He wants to, he wants to so, so much. Oh God he wants to. It takes every ounce of self-control to say, “I would love that, Harry, but. Not in here, okay? I think we can properly do it when we get you out, yeah?”

Harry sighs a little but slowly nods, “Yeah. I think so too. But I’m still going to hug you now.” And so he does. For a while. 

“Louis?”

Louis hums and rubs his back.

“Is it alright if I say I love you?”

Louis freezes and the whole world stops moving because it is absolutely alright, but it’s really not. “Yes.” He manages to get out in a breath, “I think it’s alright because I love you too, H.”

Harry pulls back and smiles at him like he invented pizza or some shit. Louis thinks that Harry is better than that guy.

-

He doesn’t know how it happens and he doesn’t know why it happens, but it does. He wakes up in Harry’s bed. It’s not like they did anything, they just fell asleep in each other’s arms.

It’s not a peaceful awakening by any means. A guard is pulling him off of the bed and another has Harry struggling in his arms.

“Harry? Harry!” He says trying to calm him down but he’s still squirming.

“Shut up!” The guard says to him and wraps his hands in a pair of cuffs. Fuck.

“What? No, stop. What are y-”

“I said shut up! You’re really fucking stupid aren’t you?” The guard screamed in his ear.

“Stop! Don’t talk to him like that!” Harry yelled and the guard kneed him in the side causing Louis to shriek. 

The guards started pushing them out of the room and led them to the main office. They shoved them in and sat them both in a chair.

The owner of the ward was sat at her desk. “Do you think it’s pleasant for me to come to work first thing and get a report from one of my guards that when they went to wake up a patient there was a trusted staff member snuggled up close to him in their bed?” Was the first thing she said. The second was much worst. “First of all, Louis, start looking for a new job, because you’re fired.” Harry jumped and looked at Louis like the world was ending and Louis’ eyes stung. “Secondly, Harry? Thicken up because you’re in for the punishment of your life. But before we begin the real fun, John?” She called to the hall, “Bring in the whip, please.” 

“What? What! No, no c’mon this was my fault he didn’t do anything! No, please!” Louis yelled and he was crying now.

“Louis! You’re only making things worse. I recommend you stay silent.” She shot at him with a glare. 

Louis looked at Harry and Harry shook his head, “It’s ok.” He mouthed and Louis shook his head. No. None of this was okay and it was all Louis’ fault.

A large man walked in the room with a whip and another grabbed Harry and put him against the wall. He took off Harry’s shirt and stood back, keeping his face emotionless.

He brought the whip back and connected it with Harry’s bare skinned back. Louis winced and cried at Harry’s noises of pain. The man did it again and again and again and Louis was falling to his knees sobbing and crying. “Please stop, please, please, please.” He cried out and Harry’s back was becoming raw and his tears were being choked out and this was all Louis’ fault. 

After at least three minutes the man stopped and nodded at the head lady before walking away like he didn’t just strip the top four layers of an innocent boy’s skin. Harry dropped to the floor and Louis went to rush to him before a guard pushed him back. Another one came and took Harry, hopefully to Lou’s office. Louis on the other hand was escorted to the staff room to get his belongings then kindly shoved out onto the street. Wonderful.

He drove home and Niall was just waking up. “Niall.” He said and burst into tears but he was alone for a half a second before Niall was holding him again. “Niall, Niall they whipped him. They hurt him they could’ve killed him and it’s my fault oh my God it’s all my fault he didn’t even it’s my fault I can’t believe this I hope he’s okay what am I going to do how will I see him I don’t know and I can’t breath I-”

“Louis, Louis!” Niall pulled back and put his hands on Louis’ shoulders, “Slow down. What happened?”

Louis took a deep breath. “He called me in the middle of the night. I went there and the other evil prick thing tried to kill him. There were fork marks like he stabbed his wrist and cut all the way up his arm and I helped him and I fell asleep in his bed, oh my God. This is all my fault. I woke up to a guard taking us away to the main office and he- they whipped him! Like fucking Gale from the Hunger Games, Niall. Bloody and raw. And I couldn’t do anything! I don’t know if he’s even okay now because they threw me out. I’m fired. I’m fired and lost.”

Niall looked at him with wide eyes filled with sadness, “Lou…”

“Please. Please don’t say you told me so.” 

“Of course not. I’m sorry I’m so, so sorry.”

-

It’s been a week since Louis was fired and a week since he’s heard Harry’s voice. He has not been in bed all week. He hasn’t. 

Except he has.

He’s staring at the ceiling when his phone rings. He looks at it and it’s Niall. “Hello.”

“Louis?” 

Louis sits up really fast. “Harry!” 

“Hi Louis. Niall let me use his phone. I miss you.”

Louis smiles, “I miss you too, Kitten. Are you okay? I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Lou, it’s okay. I’m okay.” He assures, “I just really, really miss you.”

Louis bites his lip, “Has… Has he done anything?” 

Harry hesitates on the other line, “He tried again but they figured it out and now I’m on watch. He also hasn’t hurt anyone.”

He cries a little more, “I love you, H. I’m proud of how strong you are.”

“Thank you. I- um. I have to go now. I’m sorry. I also can’t say the L word because there’s another staff member like right here.” He whispers and Louis giggles. “But, you know.”

“I know. I will see you again, I promise.” Louis says assuringly.

“Bye, Lou.” And then he’s gone. 

Louis gets out of bed. He showers and he does better, because Harry’s okay. Because Harry’s strong, and he needs to be strong for Harry.

-

The second time he gets a call it’s not something that he wants to hear at all. It’s Niall’s voice. In a panic.

“Louis. Louis, come here. Get here as fast as you can and I’ll get you in just come here.” Louis doesn’t say anything he just drops his phone and runs to the car. He gets there and Niall’s waiting at the door for him then running to Lou’s office. “They were hurting him, Louis. The guards, all still as punishments for when they couldn't control that other thing inside of him. He was weak and- and...”

He gets there and his entire body almost collapses in on itself. Almost.

“Oh my God, Harry!” He cries and rushes next to the bed that holds Harry. He has bandages all around his head matting down his perfect curls. He also has a bloody arm and there was blood pretty much everywhere.

Harry opened his eyes and lit up at Louis. “Lou.” He smiled.

“Hi, kitten. Look at you. I’m so sorry.”

Harry bit his lip, “Don’t be. S’not your fault. I knew he’d get me someday.”

Louis let out a shaky breath laced with tears. Suddenly everyone that was in the room was gone and they were alone. “I’m so proud of you. You’re so strong, baby. I love you.” Louis said pushing a few curls out of Harry’s face.

“Thank you, Louis.” Harry closed his eyes. “Lou?”

“Yes, Darling.” Louis smiled down at him.

“Can I kiss you now? Please.” 

Louis smiled wider and nodded. “Yes, yes.” He said leaning down and placing his lips gently on Harry’s. They fit like perfect puzzle pieces and moved slowly together until Harry winced. 

“Ow. ow.”

“Harry? Harry what’s wrong?”  
“It just hurts. Everything.” 

“Baby, I’m sorry I wish I could make it better.”

“It’s- Ow, ow, ow!” 

“Harry? Lou! Lou! Help him!” He yelled and she ran back in the room.

Harry’s face was pulled together and he was holding his side.

“I think he has internal bleeding. I don’t know what to do, I don’t have the right equipment! We need to get him to the hospital we-” Lou was rubbing her forehead and squeezing her eyes shut.

“Lou. Louis.” Harry winced from the table.

“No, no, Kitten stay with me please baby. Please. C’mon, Darling.” He said crying at Harry.

Harry opened his eyes for a split moment before squeezing them shut again and grabbing Louis’ hand as hard as he could. 

“Harry, babe, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon.” He said quietly to him. He was shaking with tears and yelling for somebody, anybody to help him.

Harry squeezed his hand really hard before going still.

“No! No, no, nonononoono!” He screamed and cried and thrashed and that’s all he can remember. 

He can’t remember anything from that point until when he woke up in his bed to a caring Niall, a mild headache and not Harry. He will never wake up to Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](http://louismcniceass.tumblr.com)
> 
> (I also have a pretty damn swell fic rec)
> 
>  
> 
> \--
> 
> kudos and comments are not only appreciated BUT begged for.


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